Although this is very personal, I do know that I won't be judged here.
I divorced an abusive husband in 2002. I had just suffered a back injury at work and spent 3 1/2 yrs having surgeries, rehab, etc. I was miserable and now understand that many of my symptoms (especially the fog and seizures) could be contributed to undiagnosed SLE. According to my current doc I have a very "robust" form of the disease whatever that means.
Our divorce dictated that there was shared custody of our son and no support, although my ex made approximately 3x's the amount I did we both felt we could provide when our son was with us.
Fast forward to 2005. I moved to Vegas as the weather was SOOO much better for my health (temporarily anyway) and I was actually able to work for about 14 months. I am and always have been a worker so this was wonderful. I had my son every summer and winter, paying every plane ticket, clothing, EVERYTHING. I even have over $5000 in cancelled checks for loans to my ex. I left my car there for my older son, for which my ex was to pay by the time he could legally drive. He allowed his daughters son to drive it in which it was totaled. So not only did he not pay for it he collected insurance on it. In 07 my son came to live with me. My ex paid a total of $125 for the year. My son has some severe mental and emotional issues with diagnosis of both of bi-polar, ODD and ADHD. This is severe enough that his grandparents don't allow him to visit out of fear. This caused incredible issues at his school finally ending in expulsion and the choice of hospitalization or juvenile detention.
My ex and I agreed that he would move back to KY with his father, although he was on thin ground with the schools there as well, however he would be required to get counseling and treatment if necessary. That lasted appx 2 weeks.
As I was becoming demanding about the counseling my ex decided to sue me for child support. Now at this time he is remarried to an RN, he works for Fort Knox and I am barely working from home because I am in the hospital 3-4 times yr.
So the last time my son visited, what was to last the summer lasted 10 days. At this time he is much bigger than me, I am weak and ill and he is as abusive as my ex. He threatened to physically harm me and my (then fiancé, now husband) got between us and told my son that if he was going to treat me like that he would get out of his house. He spent that night across the street in our neighbors guest house.
The next day I wake up to the police at my door because my ex called them and said that my husband "beat the crap" out of my son. He also called my older son who came over. Both assured my ex that there was not a mark on my son yet my ex called my atty (on retainer) and told them this. 10 day prior to the court date the atty withdrew. Because of this my ex then filed for sole custody because of my "lifestyle" (my son threatened to kill me, so okay) but wants support. I don't work. My lifestyle is unfit yet he and his wife are openly "swingers"...and I know this because my step-daughter told me so the kids are very aware.
Okay, so my doctor is convinced that my Lupus was present yet undiagnosed at the time. This does NOT make me an unfit mother. Because of these actions by both the atty and the ex my son NEVER rec'd the counseling or treatment that he needs. He suffered an injury to his frontal lobe during birth which can be very serious.
Do I file a complaint with the state bar? Do I file with my doctors affidavit that I would have been unable to assist in my defense due to the CNS Lupus? Or do I file here for repayment for the loans made to my ex?
I cannot get help filing for disability from any of the attys that do that as they do it on consignment.
How to maintain a stress-free existence when it seems there are just evil people who find nothing better to do than hurt others.
I want the rest of my life to be as peaceful as possible. I am trying to make up for my bad behavior in the past with some members of my family and making certain that those I am around are positive people.