The Holiday Flares

So it's that time of year again. The holidays are upon us and if you're anything like me you're probably going through a flare. Before lupus I was like Martha Stewart when it came to holidays, birthdays, you name it...I loved to make home made gifts not because it was less expensive (because it usually wasn't) but because the look on the person's face you made it for is priceless. I'd even make little goody bags for my coworkers.

But, now with lupus and school I'm just exhausted even with the bare minimum. I'm a super senior in school- nine years now so that has taken it's toll on the once "popery outlook." And, lupus- well it's just hard enough to find a balance with the everyday especially since this illness is so unpredictable. When the holidays come around even though I've traded hand made gifts for 1 click ordering on amazon, and decorating is limited only to the tree...and that's about it for celebrating I still don't feel well.

I think with lupus adding even one extra thing into the mix throws you off balance so the holidays feel more like a hindrance than a happy celebration. I hate it because I feel like I'm either trying to fight through the pain and fatigue to do the minimum like get a tree because it's something, really the one thing me and my boyfriend can do together, and it's important to have some normalcy...or I'm giving up on things I want to do but don't feel it's worth pushing myself to feel sick to make cookies. And when I give up then I just feel sad.

I don't know, long story short I just feel like lupus during the holidays is another reminder of your illness, your limitations, and it's hard to me Merry when your all achy and flu-like. It just really gets you down and I was wondering how others handle the holidays?

I feel the same way. I cooked for Thanksgiving for two days, my usual, and paid for it for a week and a half!! I had a major flare up; not just my Lupus, but my fibro as well!! My husband has decided that I am NOT cooking for Christmas. We are going to make pizzas, I have 3 teenagers, and we are going to the movies. So, a new tradition!!

I feel just like you. Thsnk for sharing your feelings as i was reading your post and saying yep i feel the same. I to was a huge xmas birthday you name it i gave party’s gifts cards but now i have to scale back on it all as i dont have the energy and i feel so yuckie. Try to stay strong as i will and know we can only do what our body’s allow us to do . Believe me this is sooo hard for me also. Merry christmas and a hope and prayer for a healthy new year for us all kaye

I have the same type of personality as you do and many others. I did decorate this year with all the decorations but it took me days of working on it and my hubby did the tree. I am glad I made the effort because I am enjoying it so much. It gets me the most about your post is that it sounds like you are young and I really hate that you feel this bad at a young age. I can look back and know I had the fibro and the sjorgren's and probably the lupus too but I did not feel bad most of the time like you do. You younger people with this really makes my heart break for you. Try to have friends meet at your home and have snacks there or they bring snacks sometimes and have fun that way. You can be comfortable in your own place and maybe even be okay wearing more comfort clothes like sweats, etc. At least you won't have to make the extra effort of going out somewhere all the time. Good luck and be glad for what you can do at any given time. Gentle Hugs!

You said it all. I traveled over Thanksgiving and it just about did me in. I pulled my lower back because both feet were having problems. I had a 24 hour stomach flu the seopnd day home and slept about 16 hours. Yesterday, I felt every muscle in my body ache. I haven’t decorated, and I’m not going to. I hope my doctor will put me back on my ansaid tomorrow, that depends on whether my kidney reading was still good. I hope it helps. I’m almost too tired to think about Christmas, but I need to send my niece’s gifts- her first year to not be at home for Christmas . I used to love Christmas. Sorry, I’m never this down, but all I do lately is sleep. Like 12 hours a day.

This year I put out the 'Charlie Brown Christmas tree', am not baking, and bought all the all the presents out of catalogs, sitting in my pj's...... I usually love to bake for all my friends(well the ones that have stuck around) and my neighbors...not this year. I have been doing very poorly, and decided that I'm not going to make myself any sicker. I took a stand, and I feel that way I can enjoy the holidays. I wish you all well, have the best holidays you can. Good luck and feel better.

Well please know you aren't alone in feeling like this. Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. This year has been hard, just getting through a flare and feeling more down than I have in a long time. It has felt like a forced thing, going through the motions almost. Then I struggle with the guilt or disappointment in not doing what I used to. We are cutting back everything this year, I guess I need to adjust. Not that its easy, more than once I've thought I just want the holidays over. I guess my hope for all of us that we can find some joy, even a little bit in little things. I think it means letting go of "what was" one more time. Merry Christmas! (and I mean that)