He is one of those egos that prevents him from going to groups or therapy. He is usually pretty good about coming to grips with most of life’s issues, which i thoughy was pretty remarkable. But here is a little synopsis.
2 years ago I quit working in my family business that has been alive since 1980 in abq &is actually a break off of what petco started from. we are extremely tied to our community busy and very serious about healthy pets and natural solutions. I am pretty damn good at computers, teaching myself new skills writh no help, I have been trying to finish nursing school for the past 10 yrs, have become a mini guru or crossing guard to the world of alternative therapies for us and pets, have taken ethics courses, statistics, and literally every course my community college has to offer in psychology, i have amazimg people skills, ive been a student/ scolar of philosophy, maybe I’m a savant lol…i mean my interests are my veiwfinder to the world and it has been this way for all 30 yrs of my life. that is until 2 yrs ago my demands at work were to great and my jack-of-tradededness tripping me every minute of my excruciating symptomomatic days, and my yearning for my own path to finally be my only goal, (insert spoon theory here, YouTube) my family losing their patience with my attendance performance and stuffing down some childhood abuse and control( not a bad kid,just the first born). I needed time off to get me right so I quit. 3-4 months into it I started with lmphopthy(?) and trouble swallowing (6 months) then my pooper stopped working (got on the laxative and pain pill train, 1 yr and 9 months). no answers just a Grimm prognosis of taking a double dosage of miralax daily to give myself diarrhea ). then the farting stopped too. spent my life crying while he was away at work, (7am-8pm, 4 days a week). Suffice it to say the house fell apart. not able to shower but 3-4 times a week, having sex only 2x every 2 wksr. I don’t have friends because they all disappeared about 2 yrs into the lupus diagnosis. My family is very busy and now evem more so? Now there are only 3 of them left, very busy and a little sore about leaving yet understandin and not calling very frequntly. Ifelt like i was losing myself, like i was dying all over agian ( i was diagnosed on the verge of death because my initial appointment was 1 yr out).My fiancé is very humorous can talk to anyone and connect, he is also macho,a man’s man likes guns, grew up in Kansas, moved to abq to help his mother start her business 10 yrs ago (I like to call her the wicked bitch of the Midwest good one! Lol) he has self motivational issues, has been overweight his whole life, parents were divorced when he was 5; dated for a bit again, 9 months later he has a brother. He is such a baby when he is sick and a little mean too. When he is upset he needs to pull away and think then he is back & no q’s are to be asked (not dealing with his own child hood issues?).so I can’t be out & about much and he hates to be in bed or idle even. I tried to keep my rolling and moaning, I probably look like a schizophrenic, and I don’t show that to anybody.
I’m going to split this up into a few posts so I don’t loose valuable work.