Yes me too. I have been experiencing back pain for my entire adult life. I am 67 years old and can barely remember a day when I have not suffered from back pain. I was difficult to dx because some of the pain came from a swollen kidney that was discovered accidentally by an ultrasound technician. Part of the pain was and continues to be from SI syndrome as a result of a functional leg length differential. Part of it was spinal stenosis with which I was born along with the scoliosis that caused the leg length difference. Degenerative disk disease, desiccated discs. facet syndrome and a bunch of stuff with Spondy as the prefix.
I opted for back surgery - multilevel laminectomy -when the neuropathy got so bad that I could not feel my foot on the accelerator or brake but felt excruciating groin pain as the movement caused the nerve to be pinched. I was doing well and then all this getting old - in lupus years I am closer to 80 - started hitting me and keeping me out of the pool. One reason the pool is great is cause I roll out of bed into my swimsuit and go without elaborate grooming. I never adopted an alternate plan for staying strong. I let myself get sucked into old habits that involve too much time at the desk and not enough physical activity.
And now that pain is back. The get down on the floor, heating pad, tens unit, nobody loves me, Jesus I wanna come home pain.
That is why this scene hit me so hard. Yes, Lord I am right back in that ole intractable pain mode - with no change in my labs - but no mercy killing please. Jesus, I ain't really ready to come home. I got a few more things I want to do. And if you let me get through this, I promise I will never stop working on making those back muscles strong again. Please Lord I'll take the fusion
I am gonna make some positive sounds come out of my mouth before friends and family start thinking that everybody would be better off without me. No no I still got some use.