My Mother want me to move her to another State

Hi,
My mother want me to pack all her stuff and move her 1000 + miles. She is aware of my SLE illness and limitations, but doesn’t want to pay for a mover. She actually wanted to drive herself, but she is 89! Just the thought of moving her, will give me a flare… I also have a bad back, disc degeneration, ruptured and bulging discs.
Any idea? I have already told her to get a moving company.
I am concerned about having a flare during the trip, from all the stress of her yelling at me the whole way.

My advice to you would be enlist the help of siblings to help pay for the movers and help pack her up. You need to take care of yourself, if you don't who will.

I feel that she is just not understanding of your limitations at all. Is she moving to be close to another relative? Maybe they could help with a mover. It sounds like she just yells at you anyway, she could have a little dimentia and it will be hard to reason with her. Could your Rheumy talk to her? I just feel so bad for you wish I had some good advice.

As hopeful said you have got to take care of yourself first. Keep us posted!

Hi Jon

Moving that far would be better with a moving company. If she is moving closer to another family member I would check on the cost and see if everyone could chip in. Could she fly? I cain't imagine driving that far. Please keep us posted.

My dad is also 89. I think sometimes they don't get it and sometimes they do. Sometimes he gets caught up in his world and that's all that matters. Maybe they forget and remember us as when we were still healthy? You just need to set your foot down. She can not drive and you can not move her. Physically your body can not do it and you need to make her understand that. Sit her down and have a heart to heart. Good luck and tons of hugs.

She is moving to my brothers house, I will have to talk to him about the options.
She will want to drive herself, if I do not help. This is not new behavior, she has been yelling and stubborn for years…

She has a small dog and cat, so she will want to drive.

I wish I had some great advice for you, but I know it's hard to deal with family. Especially our mothers!

Hopefully your brother can help you think of something. Good luck and keep us posted.

Get your brother to come and get her.