Life With Lupus

Horrible, mean Pain management doc


I went to a new pain management doctor yesterday and she was so mean, so offensive I just couldn't believe it. She treated me like I was a drug addict and was just there trying to get pills. I swear in all my years I have never been treated like that by a doctor.

Why am I having such a hard time with doctors? What is going on? I mean thank goodness I found a great rheumy who is going to help me. But I swear I have been through more doctors not listening to me, judging me, pushing me aside telling me nothing is wrong and questioning my integrity.....it's just exhausting. I'm a good person and I don't deserve this. I'm a mother of five children and I'm just trying to get by, by the skin of my teeth these days. It's been so hard. I can't afford emergency room visits for pain and these pain doctors treat me like I'm a druggie trying to get pills when I have a rheumatologist who has all but diagnosed me with lupus or fibromyalgia, obviously something is going on. If she was questioning it why didn't she talk to him? I just don't get it. She even said to me, "what do you want from me, what do you want me to give you?".........well how in the heck am I supposed to know????? You're the doctor, you figure it out!!!!! WTH? I feel like she was trying to rope me in and see what I would say to see if I was trying to get pills or something. I just told her I don't know, I just need help. I mean seriously, what kind of line of questioning is that? Her attitude was just atrocious.

I'm just so mad and so sad to be treated this way. My heart is hurt. In the end she told me she would give me a Buprenorphine patch because there's less chance of abuse with that. Omg I couldn't believe she said that. It hurt so bad. I don't even know if I should use it. I called my rheumy and primary care doc to get their opinions before I put it on. I know this much, I'm NEVER going back to her.

Sorry to rant and be negative. I'm really sorry. I'm just so hurt. :(


Oh hon, that's just horrible! ::warm, gentle hugs:: No need to apologize, that's a perfectly valid reason to rant!!! People like that have no business in their field of practice, seriously. If you are a pain doc, don't treat people like drug addicts. Oh, I'm sure they do get them in there, but surely by now they'd be able to tell the difference between someone genuinely in pain and someone just looking for a fix?! Ugh, I'm so sorry you had to endure that! I so don't blame you for never going back, and completely support refusing to see her again. Hang in there hon. ::more hugs:: I'm sure there must be someone better and more sympathetic out there for you to see! (Surely!)


So sorry this happened to you. Why didn't your rheumy just give you the pain meds? I would tell him how you were treated and that you will never go back to her!


My rheumy doesn't like to give pain meds. He leaves that up to pain management.


Hi Kittenchops, I am very sorry this happened to you. I hope that your Rheumy will be able to either prescribe pain meds or refer you to another pain management doctor. Please keep us updated on how you are doing.

Kittenchops said:

My rheumy doesn't like to give pain meds. He leaves that up to pain management.


In the meantime my primary care doc is taking care of me. He's really great. I love him, he's wonderful!!


Great to have someone on your side!! Feel better!


Woooooow. I am appalled. Did you get one of those comment cards to fill out? WTH! I am pissed for you. Talencia is correct. That person had no business in that field of practice. I think they forget that people are human beings. I think people in all fields of medicine should take sensitivity training and refresher training. UUUgh. I am so sorry.


Feeling similar. My Dr. recently made comments making me question my sanity. Thanks a lot Doc. Just cuz you can't explain why I have terrible pain in my back does not mean that "anxiety" is the source. I didn't have anxiety until I was in in such extreme pain that I have not been able to sit at work for over a month. He took me off my suldinac because he thought it may be the source. Well....that just gave me my joint pain back. Because of my line of work I stick to ibuprofen. Not working out. EEERRRRRR!!!!

Throw that doc to the curb.


Unless the Doctors who treat us have an autoimmune disease themselves…they really have no idea as to how we’re really feeling. Sometimes empathy is not enough. We need the tools to make us feel as normal as possible. And that includes pain medication when needed!


why do lupus docs do that it pisses me off its their f*n responsibility and in the meantime we get neglected and im so sick of being pushed aside cause I don’t get what my body needs. MY LUPUS doc should be helping me with pain because its from LUPUS. No one wants to deal with someone that has lupus



I’m Berta. Of late I only check in here once in awhile. I love Ben’s Friends.

I can feel everything you say. Last year had a broken leg and a bone infection. No one believed me about the severity of the pain for 6 months (post messed up hip). Went to a pain clinic in 2013 and they were always giving me surprise urine tests. I was a loon from whatever was wrong and didn’t believe the pain could get worse. Which it did in 2016.

You don’t get addicted when you use them for pain–the docs are paranoid about prescribing too many opioids. The problem is on the streets and folks selling their Rx for profit and then the addicted people mixing drugs and checking out.

You got me on a rant and that’s OK. My PC doc supports me with adequate pain meds. Good guy. See if your PC can help with the pain.

My heart goes out to you. A good rheumy and a good PC are a good combination.

You got to hold on!


You have to speak up for yourself when it comes to your doctor’s. Take an active stand in your care and don’t take just any answer. I was praying to get off the pain meds, but that was a cruel idea I told myself. Honestly I’m tired of all the medication.


You do get addicted to them when used for pain. Not sure how that wives tale ever got started. The correct term however in that case is dependent. No one is immune to dependence and everyone will develop opiate tolerance.

This is a good read: https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/65/rr/rr6501e1.htm

In any event your PCP is no longer a good source for the good stuff, IT HAS TO COME from a pain management program In most cases.


what a horrible doctor to just assume and judge you before she even knows you!

It’s okay dear, I hope you will meet better doctors next time



You have every right to be displeased, a doctor should know how to handle patients properly. I’m just hoping she was having a really bad and she’s not always like that. I can somewhat relate since I think after I had my first MRI, the doctor even though never said anything rude, in my eyes he sounded so rude, I was like what doctor would say to a teen “It would really suck for someone to have a brain stroke at this young age” the way he said it sounded so wrong.

Of course it was because he found out I had lupus before but I stopped my medications. In my defense I was dumb, confused and my memory wasn’t the greatest after diagnosis. Was too focused on school and am I the only one who thinks doctors should tell someone what lupus really is when they get diagnosed, no one told me and I kept being ignorant and was too focused on school, the daily headaches for almost a year ended up giving me a wake up call.