Good morning everyone. I haven’t been on in a long time. I went thru a nasty divorce. Still recovering emotionally. I was with him for 20 yrs. the loss of income has been devastating. Hey pays but it’s just not the same. I met someone else now. I’m engaged. He’s wonderful but I have this nagging thing in the back of my mind that I’m broken, not worthy, sick etc. what can I contribute ya know? I tried going back to school to get my cosmetology license in this state and that was a huge fail. An hour commute one way, sitting in a folding chair half the day, on my feet the other half. I went into a huge flare (like 32 mg of pred a day kinda flare) that I can’t seem to get myself out of. Then I tried to drive a bus again and my neurosurgeon said absolutely not. Because my back was so bad the Rheims did an X-ray to see if anything collapsed. It came back worse so he sent me back to neurosurgeon. Just got the results of that Mri. It’s BAD. Hernia tins, bulges, and full blown out seeping discs in 7 different places on 3 levels. One of the vertebra is also 3 mm displaced. I go back to him on Friday. I know he’s going to say I need the multi level fusion now. I have no one to help take care of me. It’s just me and my 15 yo daughter. I’m alone out here in Pennsylvania. My parents are in Florida and my mothers partner is having open heart surgery today. She will be dealing with her recovery for months. My joints are all breaking down. This disease is crippling me. I’m so scared and broke and alone. I’m sorry to ramble. My head is just spinning.
I just read your post and all that comes to my mind now is... BREATHE!!!!
And i know this may sound cliche.. but focus on the positive.. You're engaged.. that's great.. Congrats :) I don't understand when you say you have no one to help take care of you.. you have your fiance' and you have your daughter.. So you are not totally alone technically..
"My joints are all breaking down. This disease is crippling me. I'm so scared and broke and alone."
What you need to know is your thoughts and words affect your life in more ways than we realise until we become aware of it.
Do you like to read books? I have a really good book for you to read if you're interested... It's called "You can heal your Life" by Louise Hay.. check out the pdf version of the book on the link provided http://realrawfood.com/sites/default/files/book/You%20Can%20Heal%20your%20Life%20-%20Louise%20L.%20Hay.pdf
I hope it helps you as much as it did for me..