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Life With Lupus

Feeling low


#1

My rash/blisters has started coming on my face more and now on my neck. My chest is full and my back has them in patches all over. I feel so low and ugly not to mention my hair loss. My boy friend comes home Thursday havent seen him in 4 weeks (he’s a trucker) I’m so afraid he won’t think I look good anymore, or can’t handle the new lupus me. I get so depressed thinking about it. I hate that I feel this way. He already has a hard time talking to me about anything that deals with it. Almost like he hasn’t accepted it yet. I feel so hideous I can’t look at myself in the mirror some days. :frowning: I try and wear clothes to cover it up but my skin is sensitive so I’m limited. I don’t know what to do anymore. It looks like acne but I know it’s not.


#2

Beck,

I wish I could reassure you that your boyfriend won't care about how you look. One thing I do know is that if you focus on it then so will he. Try to trust in his love. I haven't been able to talk to my husband about my illnesses either. It is like he feels he should be able to fix it and because he can't he is a failure. However he has been with me through thick and thin.


#3

Hi, Beck. Lol, yeah, some guys may be less aware than us ladies when it comes to noticing all of our “imperfections”. Ponto has some good suggestions on pick-me-ups. Indulging your mind also can be of great help with self-esteem. Something like taking a free educational course online can be really empowering.

I wanted to ask also if you’ve considered your low feelings may be mild depression? I know it has a sinister way of sneaking up on us and we, as chronically ill people, are particularly vulnerable. Perhaps you may want to consider discussing it with your doctor as well.

Best wishes.

Hugs,

Laurie


#4

I’ve struggled with depression since I was in jr. High. I’m on a low dose but going to up it to see if it helps. I keep up on my nails. It always help when I look down and see pretty color toes :slight_smile: going to get new hair style as soon as my boyfriend can say good bye to my long locks. Lol he won’t like it but I do need it. Some times I buy myself flowers to. I find that picks me up too. I finally told a close friend to help with emotional support, I figured that would help me too and give my boyfriend some time to come around. Thanks for the good insight. Men do have a problem seeing the woman they love hurting and even while I’m going through this I have to remember he is too.