Desperately mad/sad

I can’t take this anymore…my son had an ACT test at His high school this morning and his counselor turned him away because he forgot his ID ( license). She wouldn’t even let us go back to get it for him. On top of that he wrecked his car on Thursday in a tree. My dog died a week ago on my birthday. And I just feel as if I had a gun right now i would end it all for me. I want this all to end. He an overall really good kid that stands strong in his moral convictions. The school doubts he will be accepted to college with a 3.5 GPA. Private school, small graduating class. Politics times a million and we don’t kiss but and are not helicopter parents. He’s never a problem for them. So much anxiety about his future and where he will be in a year. I am a person of faith but lacking vision with all of this. That on top of a wrecked extended family and our first Non Christmas gathering…JUST WAY TOO MUCH!!!

He may not get in a top ten university but he will get in college I got in with a 3.0 average - in college my GPA was 3.7 and that then allowed me totransfer to a school more to my liking Bummer about the ACT though

I'm really sorry you're having such a crummy time. It sounds like your son will get into most schools, especially with that GPA. Private schools tend to be overly competitive with GPA, especially when it's a small class. My brother had a GPA close to a 3.5 and he was accepted into every school he applied to. I really think your son will be fine despite what the school says.

Christmas is different this year for me too. I've found that starting a new "tradition" is the way to go, something that I didn't usually do with family (since my family got a little screwed up this year too). That way I still get to enjoy some of the season without being hit hard emotionally by doing the "old" family traditions. Ya know?

Hang in there! If you continue to feel as poorly as you do, it might help to go talk to a counselor to get through this rough patch. It WILL get better. I just got thought my own rough patch and I know it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it is there and life will slow down and things will work out in the end.

Praying for strength for you.







Ok, so why was a message I didn’t read, deleted? Who decides that

Dvdom3 please let God have the vision for you and your son.... Who is the school to dictate your son's future, when we believe in a God who can do all things.... My son sat out a semester and I feared he would not go to school. I had to let him decide for himself, and after a month of seeing his friends going to college, and he was working full time - he made the decision for himself.

I am so sorry for the loss of your fur baby. Give yourself time to grieve, and I'm praying for Peace for you and your family

Thank you For the prayers. You have reminded me of several things that I had not factored in yesterday. I am struggling between fear and trust and faith in Gods right timing of it all. You are so wise to allow him to have made the decision. That way his determination and commitment is 100 % him. I have been praying for guidance and direction to encourage him towards Gods will for his life. He has chosen a field of study to concentrate on in college but waiting on acceptance into his preferred college is excruciating. They lost a form that was in the app package we sent. The high school says they sent items that the colleges are telling us they haven’t received and it just keeps increasing my anxiety. Him forgetting his ID just about sent me over the cliff yesterday. My husband just lost it when they wouldn’t allow him to take that test. This cloud can leave us anytime now, lol. Thank you for your kind words about my dear beloved Furbaby, Grace. She was the epitome of her name. At 11 yrs old, this golden retriever passed in my arms, while I held her. I’m upset that I’m grieving so deeply and long. The absence from our hone of her spirit, sweetness, humor and love is equivalent to that of a human.

So are there private places he can take the ACT? I do know there are very strict rules about these tests and they HAVE to start on time. I worked in a school with kids from wealthy families and they were catered to also. I personally know several people now in their early 40's that were told they could never do...or be accepted into certain colleges. My son is one and he and the others have done very well for themselves and are wonderful people. My son was in all accelerated classes all through school and was still told that. Tell you son they are full of crap. "Let go and let God" is my mantra when things are so overwhelming. Grace is romping thru heaven but you are still crying. It hurts so bad. I have been in your shoes so often and I am hurting for you. Prayers, love and gentle hugs coming your way.

I believe my worries over similar things with my daughter is what pushed me into a flare major enough I was finally diagnosed (without question) with lupus and hypertension. She is a very intelligent, strong willed girl fighting with Ehlers-Danlos. She had so many absences due to her disease, that a good number of the teachers and administrators believed that she was lying about her illness. Ehlers Danlos is an invisible illness like lupus and causes the same pain as lupus, but her joints pop out of place and she fractures easily. She has braces for every limb practically. Anyway, she had about the same gap. She wanted to major in art with is a bit easier to get into with some art schools. But, when we went to visit one of the hardest to get into art schools, The School of Art Institute in Chicago, she was accepted on the spot! Grade points and academics have to be high as well as talent. Your son has every chance of getting in a college with scholarships. Put applications into as many colleges as possible. I think you will be pleasantly surprised. As for all the other horrible events, you will get through them. I was so sick while my daughter was in school 9 hours away. My daughter went through major depression from not being able to keep up her studio work due to pain. She attempted suicide and I was not contacted because she was an adult and she did not want me to stress anymore. I found out a month later when she fell and injured herself and I had to drive the 9 hours to help her. She has had to come back home for a year to have knee surgeries and get her depression meds sorted. It has been very hard with both of us juggling doctors appointments at the same time. I lost a ton of family and friends when I let them know I had lupus and was really sick. I guess they couldn't handle it, or didn't believe me. Either way, it was horrible to go through this with just my husband and mother-in-law and you guys for support. I am doing better now. My daughter is out of her bed more often than in, and she has a part-time job! She plans on returning to KCAI in the spring. Hold onto hope and know that we are here for you. Sending light and love! Adrienne

That is alot for any one person to handle. But God knew there would be days when your load (responsibilities) would be too much (burden) to bear alone. "Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you.” Matt 11:28 Jesus doesn’t offer a life of luxurious ease—the yoke is still an oxen’s tool for working hard. But it’s a shared yoke , with weight falling on bigger shoulders than yours. Someone with more pulling power is upfront helping. ". Thank you for sharing your burden with this community.
On a practical note, tell your son there are 4,000 colleges to choose from. Many of them would love a serious student with a 3.5 GPA to the point they will offer scholarships. Ignore the negativity and just find the college that works for him. It may be a lesser known college that is a better fit. Sometimes education is overrated in blazing a path to success. Look at all the accomplished people that did not finish college-- Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Abraham Lincoln, Jesus…!
How sad to lose your precious fur companion on any day, much less your birthday! I will be praying for you! Hang in there, this is just a valley you are going thru the mountain top is up ahead.

I went through a similar situation with my oldest. He attempted suicide last spring when he wasn’t accepted at his school of choice. He wasn’t accepted because he got senioritis very bad and blew off his work despite us telling him that he had to get his grades up to get in. Bipolar disorder runs strong in my family as well as depression and I knew something was wrong but he refused to talk to me. I beat myself up mentally for not pushing. Long story short, he’s going to a community college and living at home and doing really well. (He also had gotten two speeding tickets, smooshed my MB’s right bumper, and got sideswiped in his car) So don’t stress too much, you both will get through this and may even come to laugh about it in the future.
As far as the ACT is concerned, he can take it at a testing center. They should be listed in the phone book. The proctor of the exam did exactly what he was supposed to do when he turned your son away. They are extremely strict about the rules when it comes to college entrance exams. Hopefully your son learned to be a bit more responsible from this (hope springs eternal…lol).
The one thing I learned from the mess my son went through was that he needed to screw up and learn from his own mistakes. His personality is such that he has to do it himself and nothing dad or mom says is going to change that.
Also, don’t listen to the school’s counselors, they underestimate students all the time. My husband’s counselor told his mom he should go to a trade school instead of college. He’s now a practicing attorney…lol My MIL took great pleasure in grinding that counselor’s nose in it, particularly since he graduated in the top 10 of his law school class. The counselor based it on my FIL’s occupation (electrician, left school in the 6th grade to help support the family) rather than on my hubby’s abilities. Also private schools tend to favor girls, our older boys went to a private elementary and the politics etc… were very biased. We ended up putting them in the IB (a step above all honors) program in a public high school. It was sort of a school within a school.
When all is said and done, he (and you) will get through this. Try to relax and enjoy the season. He is alive and well and that’s the most important thing.

Sending prayers. Sometimes when it rains, it pours. Grief is hard when you lose a loved pet. With the ACT, there are other tests available and hopefully he can take the test soon. I know it's hard, but keep the faith. It will all work out. Push through the pain to find the purpose of all of this. Hugs. Carolyn

Hi! I just had to respond to your problem. There is light at the end of the tunnel even though at this it may seem like there isn't. On July 3, 2001, I had to take my husband to the Dr. I was waiting for him to have his tests completed when the Dr. came and knelt beside my chair. He told me that the news wasn't good and he needed to be sent to the hospital. By noon that day, he was put in ICU and given blood transfusions. After a bone marrow test, he was diagnosed with Mylodisplasia (sp) which was at one time called Pre-leukemia." He was transferred to a larger and better hospital for treatment, was in the hospital all through Aug., Sept., Oct., and he seemed to respond to chemo and was able to come home. In Nov. We went to Branson for ten days, but when we returned home he had to return to the hospital. He never came home after that and went to his heavenly home on Feb. 21, 2002. While all of this was taking place, my beloved Mother choked to death on her medication in Aug. Then two of my close cousins died with cancer. On top of all of this my daughter's mother-in-law, who was a friend of mine, passed away. Then in Jan., before my husband died, my closest and dearest friend of many years died during surgery. I felt that I couldn't take anymore, and while alone I screamed and screamed along with crying. As the days passed, I couldn't find joy in anything I did but made myself do. I prayed and my faith sustained me. One morning I awoke and joy in living had returned. My prayers had been answered. I began to count my blessings again. That black tunnel had finally given away to light! I look back now and see how my faith in God saw me through all of this! Just hang in there and things will get better!

Good for you, Misty, for coming out on top. Every step of the way had to be horrible but you did it. I am sorry you went through so much in that short amount of time. Hugs to you. Merry Christmas.

Don’t worry…my daughter has the same GPA and she has already been accepted! Sounds like this school is not very supportive or friendly… Don’t sweat the small stuff. Keep the faith, He will see you through.

I will pray for you Misty. A good book you can read is ‘Break Out’ by Joel Osteen. Perhaps you can borrow it from the library? I don’t know where you live, but are there any mental health support systems you can tap into. We have ‘Beyond Blue’ in Australia. Let me know where you live and I will try to find out for you if you feel too weary. If you take your own live, your son and the rest of your family will be devasted. If this is a real ideation that you have, you need to speak to your doctor today about it. Your son may even copy you if he too is low. You say you have Faith: I know you are feeling very low, but reconnect with Jesus and trust him. Big hugs.xx

I just looked at your profile to see where you live. I found 2 resources which may be useful to you: Valley Counseling Services, 150 E Market St, Warren, OH 44481, tel (330)394 6244; and Preferred Care Counseling, Warren, OH, tel (330)757 3975. Not sure about payment, but Valley Counseling state that you can use insurance. If this is a problem, perhaps your GP can refer you to free counseling services? Please let us all know how you get on.xx

Hi, I am sorry that you are having such a moment of hopelessness. We all do go through these incredibly challenging times no matter who we are Lupus or not. I truly believe that part of the reason those of us who have Lupus have to be especially diligent in dealing with these stressful events in a very specific way. It is a must... an absolute must that we decrease our body's stress level and maintain it at that level as much as possible, is vital to our lives.

I believe my inability to deal with stress is what gave me this propensity to fight my own healthy body. I am trying to learn every day.

Whatever we have to do, whether it is walking, meditating, praying, detaching, removing ourselves from the stressful situation as much as possible. Our bodies are already fighting against us.... our minds must not. We must be grateful and express gratitude at every moment, especially when things are the hardest. It releases so much stress.

Learning how to deal with stress is just as important as taking our meds. WE MUST BECOME EXPERTS AT LETTING GO OF STRESS! Your health, mentally,physically and emotionally is more important that any "college" or test. I am sure your son wants you around more than getting into a test, Breathe...... many many times.

Your son no doubt stands strong on his moral convictions because of YOU. So, he needs your example now in how to hang in when life is bleak. It's obvious that you've held strong thus far. What will happen to him if you give up on life?

Bless your hearts...there is so much pressure on both of you right now and even thinking about suicide is scary. My prayers are with you for strength and comfort as you go through each day. I have been suicidal since early childhood and am on large doses of meds to keep me sane...SLE Lupus just makes everything worse. The Lord is my focus now and He won't let me take my life because I am here to offer love and support to others....just as you are here reaching out for love and support.

PLEASE do what you have to do to take care of YOU....your son needs you and he will get into college with his wonderful GPA. He needs support and to know that everything will work out...take one thing at a heart hurts thinking about the pressure he is under right now.

Come back and keep us posted....much love and big hugs!