I will try to be as short as possible, but am very upset/confused. I am a RN with 4 children aged 1-13. I always worked night shift and never used a baby sitter. I never slept and somehow functioned perfectly. I was energetic and bubbly, and to be honest was well liked at work and within my social circle.
I had to quit my job because fatigue came out of nowhere...so I decided to stay home with my 1 and 2 year old and go back to school and finish up with my FNP.
Then 3 weeks later I got what I thought was a very bad flu...fatigue, joint/muscle pain, fever etc. I couldn't recover so my GP did an ANA with a result of 1:80 speckled (same results twice). My hair started falling out, my nails all broke off, I lost all appetite and now weigh 101 at 5'5. My joints hurt like h***, I fall asleep during the day all the time, I have complete apathy, i got a rash on my chin after being in the sun, my WBC were 4.4(which I was told are not low...but are for me...mine have been around 10 since 2007), and I get ulcers in my mouth quite frequently.
My rheumy said I dont meet the criteria due to my more specific labs coming back negative. I feel like I am going insane. I was accepted into the Masters program starting in January and realize that there is no way I can do this now. I was only on bc pills and vitamins for the past 6 years, now: neurontin, tramadol, plaquenil, wellbutrin, bc, melatonin, and today asked for adderall (5mg) so I would stop falling asleep on my children.
I feel like I am dying! I am so emaciated, my hair is so thin and falling out, I walk like an old lady, and I have completely isolated myself from EVERYONE. I dont even know who I am anymore, but I hate who I have become.
I thought I would come on here and spill my guts in the hopes that someone might have advice, or be able to give me another idea of what I may have??? Rheumy says ANA is too low/borderline and all other inflammatory markers/lupus specific tests are negative. GRRR....... I am beginning to feel there is no hope for me!