Fog Horn: Be Calm

I was unpacking groceries when Twinge hopped out of the bag and onto the counter; aloof by the coffee pot, she watched me open a bag of dried fruit. Like a cat who makes sure you know she doesn’t need You but you Need her, she watched me put a dried plum in my mouth.

Let me tell you a little about Twinge.

Her full name is Twinge of Panic, her first cousin is Panic Attack and they have lots of 2^nd and 3rd cousins that follow them around like the debris around tornados. Let’s see: there is Sad, Bewildered, Jealous, Vicious, and Doom, and Fog Brain, Forgotten, and Forlorn to name 7. There are more.

Twinge is uninvited; I would never let her come into my house if I had a choice, and she knows that. So if she manages to get into my grocery bag, hiding under a box of dates, or between bananas, she will slip out of the bag and steal around the edges of a room, sucking out the good air and replacing it with toxic shame, pain, guilt and fear. The level of toxicity builds gradually so that I never know how sick I am getting before  collapsing.

Then she invites PA(Panic Attack) and all the filthy little cousins over and they wreck havoc.

Not today, Twinge. Not today.

I don’t know if it is because I am building my awareness skills or because I am learning

St. Iggy‘s exercises, but I saw Twinge right away, and when I spotted her a fog horn sounded in my mind:

Be Calm! Be Calm! Be Calm!

It had such a nice, deep, round sound that I began to sing it diaphragmatically: Deep inhale and exhale the word Be for half a breath and then drop an octave and sing Calm for the rest of the exhale. the rest, clear your head and repeat.

 Be…. Calm! ….Be… Calm... Be… Calm…

Twinge of Panic, Panic Attack and every stinky little cousin of the two were forced to leave, but not just leave, they vanished.

The Fog Horn Breathing Exercise just shook the living daylights out of Twinge and Cohorts; they vanished like dust from a well beaten rug.

I was then able to put the food away without so much of a Twinge of panic that the food would run out before it was supposed to; there was not even a fresh-chest-squeeze from Panic Attack. In fact, I very calmly decided to wait till after I put the food away before eating something in a hurry; and not one of the dirty little sycophant-cousins of Twinge and Panic even got a foot in the door.

Wow.

This is a first.

Now, as I write, I am breathing the Fog Horn again just for fun because I didn’t even realize this at first, but a fairly big pain-storm blew away too while I was getting rid of Twinge and company.

My pain level was at an all time high, my vision has been blurry and I’ve swollen and sad for too long.

But now an hour has passed and I promised Rex I’d throw the tennis ball to him, I owe Lucy a belly rub and Babe has requested an extra gentle bristle massage for her dog-tired old dog-body.

After that I will make a late lunch. A nice, light but nutrient-rich lunch to prepare for Peacock Patrol. ( I plan to be ready to respond when duty calls.)

Just for the fun of it I plan to answer that call with a Yoga-breathy-Yodeleing: Beeeeeeeedldldldldldlee Caaaaalmmmdlelomdeldledlemmmm. dldldum...dldlum